Author Archives: Crystal

Begging for a Breather

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Could the world just stop for a minute and let me get off?

This morning I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, got dressed, packed four lunches, did two loads of laundry, had breakfast, washed the kitchen floor and hustled the kids off to school.

Then I went to work. I have six different manuals on the go, all of which have to get done by the end of next week, and all of which are stalled as I chase down information from co-workers who are swamped with their own projects.

After work, I go straight to the school to pick up the kids and take them home, where I will do two more loads of laundry, cut the grass, clean the bathrooms and make supper.

And this isn’t even a busy day. Many times we have soccer practice or some other appointment that we have to rush off to. I sat down the other day to plan out our meals for next week, and I realized that almost every day is a rush job. When will I ever have time to cook a substantial meal? Most days I have maybe half an hour to throw something together.

And I only work part time!

As a society, we tend to define ourselves by how busy we are. Parents are always one-upping each other with their tales of jam-packed schedules. But is the nuttiness really worth it?

I realize this is why people take vacations. But two weeks a year is not enough to regain a sense of sanity. No one ever lies on their deathbed wishing they’d spent more time rushing around.

My job ends in nine weeks. Hallelujah.

Back on Track at Disney

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I had two goals today:

1. Keep Justin happy.
2. Get at least one photo of the four of us together.

After yesterday’s trauma, I really wanted Justin to have a good time today. That meant technology. We let him play with Chris’s phone whenever we had to stand in line for more than a few minutes. We’d been doing that a bit anyway, but we mostly tried to avoid it cause we were afraid he wouldn’t want to give it up. This was day 3 of standing in the heat, however, so we were much quicker to whip out the electronics. Goal #1 was a success.

So naturally Brayden turned out to be the bigger problem. His morning did not start well: he and Chris rushed off to the Matterhorn when the park opened, only to discover the ride was broken. Then they were halfway through Buzz Lightyear when it broke down too. (Seriously, Disney?)

The four of us did Star Tours together, which was good, but when we tried to rush off to Splash Mountain, Brayden insisted on taking time to build a custom droid in the Star Tours gift shop. Normally I would’ve said no, we need to go…but he got rushed out of the same gift shop yesterday, and he was having such a crappy morning, and I felt like I owed him something. So we waited. It meant a slightly longer wait at Splash Mountain, but a much happier Brayden, so whatever.

The get-a-family-photo goal worked out too. We finally got one just after we finished Splash Mountain, when Justin was thrilled that he got drenched (which is especially noteworthy cause last year he wouldn’t get on a water ride without a poncho to protect his clothes) and Brayden was equally thrilled that he barely got wet. Good times.

We also met Captain America, rode Big Thunder for a fifth time, and did Toy Story Mania (Brayden was grumpy after that one cause I got a better score than he did…but ice cream cures all ills) and Soarin’ Over California. We ended our very long day at the parks by watching the Aladdin stage show, which we all agreed was awesome, not least because we could sit in an air conditioned theatre for 40 minutes. Ahhh.

Another great vacation done. Home tomorrow…

 

 

 

 

 

Ups and Downs at Disneyland

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I’m sure I speak for many autism moms when I say: damn the balloons.

Obviously Disneyland is full of balloons. And for the most part, Justin’s been OK with that; he doesn’t seem bothered by kids holding giant Mickey balloons on a string. But he had a mini-meltdown in the middle of the Muppet Vision 3D show when a 3D fly puffed up like a balloon and then exploded (it was going so well up until then!) We didn’t actually have to leave the theatre, but he was clearly traumatized, and spent the next hour complaining that Muppets are evil (sigh).

Then later, as we were leaving the park, a girl walking next to Justin had a balloon animal and a stick, and she kept popping the pieces. To his credit, he didn’t flip out; but he did have to walk with his hands over his ears, and he was quite relieved when she finally put the thing in the garbage.

The balloon phobia reared its ugly head again at dinner time. A very talented balloon artist was making the rounds of the restaurant, creating extraordinary animals for the kids. The sound of the twisting balloons was clearly bothering Justin (who, like so many kids on the spectrum, has super sensitive hearing). Again, he didn’t melt down, but he covered his ears and looked quite uncomfortable. Then the guy arrived at our table and offered to make animals for the boys. I’m sure Brayden would’ve liked one, but he knew that was a no-go. We just explained that balloons make Justin quite anxious; the guy apologized and left, and Justin could finally relax. Whew.

Despite all that, we did have a good day. We walked on to our first three rides with no waiting, then had lunch at ESPN Zone and let the boys play in the arcade for a bit. Then came the unfortunate Muppet experience, but we recovered by riding Monsters Inc, having some ice cream and doing Splash Mountain (which was especially nice as the temperature was well above 30). Harmony was restored.

Chris and the kids are shopping right now (back to the Lego store!) and then I think they might hit the pool for a bit before bed. One more day…

Mother’s Day at Mickey’s House

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We didn’t actually go to Mickey’s house, but you get the point: we’re in Disneyland! In an uncharacteristically spontaneous move, I booked this trip a mere three weeks ago. I meant it to be a surprise for Chris’s birthday in June, but the dates worked out better to go in May, and it just happened to work out that our first day at the parks was Mother’s Day. For celebrating the joys of family, I can’t think of a better place to be.

And we had a FANTASTIC day. There were a few glitches (Justin and I both found the Matterhorn way too rough; Indiana Jones broke down three-quarters of the way through our ride and we had to get out and walk the rest of the way) but they didn’t really drag us down, especially since the Indiana Jones people gave us a Fastpass to be used for a ride of our choice.

I was surprised to see what a difference a year makes. Last year the kids were Star Wars-obsessed and insisted on riding Star Tours over and over again. This time around, the big hit is Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (to be fair, it was closed on our trip last year), a thrill ride through a mine shaft that Chris and I both loved on our original trip 13 years ago. Brayden loves all the rides, but Justin has issues with a few; I was happy to see how excited he was about that one.

Another big difference is our endurance level: the boys had no trouble staying at the parks until 9 pm or so after having a break at the hotel in the afternoon, whereas last year they were DONE by 3 pm. We also have park hopper passes this time, which allowed us to spend most of the day at Disneyland but then hop over to California Adventure for the evening. Everyone should get a chance to see Cars Land all lit up with neon. We even managed to ride Radiator Springs Racers after dark — WAY cool.

 

 

 

My Amazing Aspie

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Maybe Justin’s been right all along. He normally has a social skills group once a week and occupational therapy every other week, and he’s always asking when he can stop doing those things, and I never really have an answer. But due to various circumstances, he hasn’t done any of it since March…and he’s been fine. I even witnessed him compromising with a friend the other day without getting upset or needing any intervention. Amazing.

It really is amazing when you think about how far he’s come. I was re-reading his Asperger’s diagnosis report the other day, which was done when he was five, and which noted that his processing speed seemed to be way below average. Compare that to the academic testing he went through a couple months ago, in which he proved to be gifted in 9 out of 13 areas, including processing speed. Four years ago he was paralyzed by anxiety and in a near-constant state of meltdown; since then he’s had so much help and support that his true nature has been allowed to come through.

On the other hand, he did flip out the other day when I announced I’d booked a surprise trip to Disneyland (we leave in 12 days — yay!) He insisted he didn’t want to go, that he would stay here with his grandparents instead, and that he didn’t want to miss out on three days of school. After a couple days of listening to his whining, I sat him down and calmly asked him the obvious question: “Don’t you think that three days at Disneyland would be more fun than three days at school?” He thought about it for a second, and it was like it finally dawned on him that he was actually going to have a good time. The things you don’t think you need to explain (sigh).

Everything Was Awesome: The Lego Movie Birthday Party

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Could any party theme be more fun than Lego? The colors, the shapes, the endless activities…I had a great time putting this one together.

The kids started by coloring their own minifigures, but they clearly needed to do something physical, so I sent them out to the trampoline to burn off some energy. Then we came back inside to build with the giant Lego blocks I created out of cardboard boxes, wrapping paper and foam. I worked for weeks gathering and wrapping boxes, and it was totally worth it, cause the kids had a blast stacking those things up and knocking them down.

I’d come across a website that lets you download and print out masks for many of the characters from The Lego Movie, so the kids put those on and posed for the camera. I had them draw names to see who got which mask, but there were still some unhappy customers, namely Brayden, who really wanted the Batman mask but who ended up with President Business. But we got past that and moved on to the next activity: a team Lego building challenge. I split the kids into two teams, gave them each a bucket of Lego, and told them to design a spaceship. The idea was to build as a team, but most of the kids ended up doing their own thing anyway. It kept them busy for half an hour, so whatever.

Finally, we did a treasure hunt to find the Piece of Resistance (which I made by wrapping a toothpaste box in red wrapping paper). I made up nine clues and hid them in various places around the house, and the kids had to solve a little riddle in order to find the next clue. I wasn’t sure how this one would go, but it was actually pretty popular. And I designed it so that when we found the Piece of Resistance (in the fridge!) we were in the kitchen, ready for snacks and cake.

As for snacks…I made some adorable crackers and cheese that looked like Lego bricks. I’d read online somewhere that you could slice string cheese and it would be round like Lego studs, but I tried that and found that the studs weren’t really round at all. I ended up taking the lid from a marker and using that to cut circles in the cheese slices. They were labor-intensive (each cracker took eight studs) but they turned out great.

I was pretty proud of the cake. I ordered a plain white cake from Wal-Mart, then decorated it with Lego chocolates I made with a mold I got online. The chocolates look so much like the real thing that when I took a bunch to my autism moms group the night before the party, no one realized they were actually edible. Very cool.

So anyway, the cake — and the party — was a roaring success.

Happy 7th, Brayden!

An All-Star Hockey Party

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This was one of the easiest birthday parties ever — at least for me. Justin had a couple friends over for burgers and cake, and then Chris took them to the hockey game. All I had to do was decorate a bit and make the food.

And even that was pretty simple. I used a white plastic tablecloth and red and blue electrical tape to turn the kitchen table into a hockey rink, with Justin’s Stanley Cup piggy bank as the centerpiece. I also bought black paper plates and used the extra ones to make a Happy Birthday banner (the first “H” kept threatening to fall down, prompting Dave to comment that an “Appy Birthday” would be OK too.) The overall effect was pretty cool.

As for the food…baking is not my forte, but I had an idea for a hockey cake, so I decided to give it a try. I made a round cake with white icing and stuck a Hershey’s chocolate Stanley Cup on top; I also bought mini Oreos to use as “pucks” around the edge. That was my “Cup” cake. Everybody ate it, so I’m calling it a success.

And now my first-born is nine!

The Labour of Love

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I was having a drink with one of my single friends the other day, listening to her complain about the trials and tribulations of online dating: sorting through the lies in the profiles, sending messages to prospective dates, wondering what it means when no one responds. “It’s just so much work,” she sighed.

I have long been the only still-married-never-divorced one in my social circle, and I’ve heard all the horror stories about the online dating experience. But this one made me pause. Dating is so much work?

You know what else is lots of work? Marriage. Marriage is a ton of work. Endless, difficult, unpaid work. It’s an ongoing series of compromises and accommodations that frequently has one or both of us thinking evil thoughts about the other.

But it’s not all bad. He might leave toothpaste in the sink and socks on the floor…but he also leaves me the last piece of bread because he knows I like toast for breakfast. He might keep me awake with his snoring…but he’s the first one up if one of the kids has a problem. He might do a half-assed job of wiping the kitchen table…but he does the dishes every night.

And it works both ways. Who else would put up with my leaving the bedside light on to read into the wee hours? How many other people would tolerate my planning every vacation to focus on the stuff I want to do? Who else would accept my anal-retentive need to control everything?

So this Valentine’s Day, I raise my glass to the love of my life, who makes me madder than anyone, and who is with me for the long haul.

And then we’ll get back to work.

A “No Yelling” Update: Back to Square One

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I think we need a whole-family version of that no-yelling-for-a-week challenge I did last spring. It’s been a really loud couple of weeks around here. Someone whines, someone else screams, and then a third person yells to be heard over the din…oy.

Despite all that, we actually had one incident when yelling really got the job done. Last week when I was picking up the kids after school, Brayden found me before Justin did, and I told Brayden not to run off because we had to get to an appointment as soon as Justin came out. Brayden got huffy about not being allowed to play — and promptly took off for the opposite end of the school field.

By the time Justin came out, Brayden was hundreds of yards away and not paying me the slightest attention. I was so steamed — we were meeting someone at 2:45, and this was 2:40 — that I very nearly left without him. Instead, I tracked him down and unleashed a tirade like I haven’t done in months. He cried, and apologized, and now he comes as soon as I call him. Lesson learned…but does the end justify the means?

How bad of a mother am I?

Once Upon a Murder

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I’m so thankful to have friends who are willing to indulge my passion for games. Once again we gathered for a night of murder and mayhem to celebrate my birthday. This time it was a tale of treachery and treason in a kingdom far, far away.

The official intro:

After the mysterious disappearance of Cinderella, Prince Charming is throwing a ball to find a new wife. Some of the kingdom residents question how the prince could move on so quickly, while others are jumping at the chance to become the next princess in the palace. As the evening escalates, a killing occurs…leaving you to write the final chapter.

I’d been planning this party for months, so I had lots of time to come up with costumes and decorations. (The secret: get the details sorted out in October, when Halloween stuff is everywhere.) This theme was especially fun, since we were all well-known fairy tale characters. That made it a lot easier to ad lib and go with the flow.

I was Rapunzel, which makes lots of people laugh, since I have the shortest hair of any woman I know. Chris was Prince Charming and got to spend most of the evening fending off romantic advances from three different maidens. (“Not enough touching,” he commented when I asked how he’d enjoyed that. Eww.)

Good times!