Category Archives: Parenting

No School = Not Cool

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Let’s recap, shall we?

  • Days since school was in session: 86
  • School days lost to the strike: 16
  • Bargaining sessions scheduled: 0

Oy. If anyone had told me, way back last spring, that my kids were about to go 86 straight days without school, I would’ve laughed. I would not have believed that the powers that be could allow such a thing to happen. I would have assumed that all involved would realize the effect this would have on the half-million kids in this province who rely on public education to give them the knowledge and skills needed to contribute to a healthy democratic society. And when the last two weeks of the school year got erased in June, I figured the two sides would use the summer months to cool off, man up and hammer out a deal.

But I was wrong.

I know there are important principles involved. I know there are passionate advocates on both sides. And I know there are no easy solutions.

But at this point, I don’t even care who “wins.” I just want my kids to be able to go to school.

SOON.

Professor Mom Steps In

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With no teacher training whatsoever, I am attempting to provide a stimulating educational experience for my kids while this strike drags on. On the very first morning, I freely admitted to the boys that I don’t know everything, that we’re all kind of feeling our way through this, and that we can always turn to Google if we get stumped (which we did in Justin’s very first vocabulary lesson — speaking as a highly trained communications professional, why does anyone need to know about irregular vowel sounds? But I digress.)

My class composition: a gifted nine-year-old with Asperger’s who would finish a year’s worth of workbooks in an hour if I’d let him but who falls apart if he gets even one answer wrong; and an active seven-year-old who loves to read but hates to write and whose favorite part of the curriculum is the DPA (that’s Daily Physical Activity, when we spend half an hour jumping on the trampoline or playing Twister or whatever).

I was expecting to maybe spend 20 minutes on worksheets each day and call it done, but the boys surprised me by wanting to keep going, so I’ve had to plan out lessons to cover the entire morning (well, not the ENTIRE morning: Justin was raring to go at 7:00 on Tuesday and I persuaded him to wait until 8:30.) I’ve come up with some math games that seem to be a hit, the kids have been pretty good about doing their reading comprehension worksheets, and our interactive globe has been a great help with our social studies unit. I’m skipping the arts and health components of the curriculum (pick your battles, right?) and I’ve been avoiding science, but we will start learning about states of matter tomorrow. Ugh.

But there’s a reason I didn’t become a teacher. I suck at it. I do love explaining things, but I prefer to do that by writing documents, not by standing in front of a group of kids. I was happy to be done with math and science decades ago; relearning the basics so I can pass them along to my kids is not my idea of a good time. And I strongly suspect the kids would behave differently for a teacher who wasn’t their mother.

But this, too, shall pass, right? RIGHT?

A September With No School

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There are certain milestones that occur each year like clockwork: Halloween comes in October. Christmas is in December.

School starts in September.

Well, not this year. Not in BC. I’d give anything to be wrong, but it looks like our kids won’t be back in class for many, many moons. They may well grow out of their back-to-school clothes before they ever get a chance to wear them.

I won’t go into the politics of the thing. Frankly, I’m not feeling the love for either side right now. Instead of shopping for backpacks and planning bag lunches, I’m buying educational workbooks and designing a learning schedule. Years ago I saw a poster of a mom playing with her baby that read: “You are their first and favorite teacher.” I may have been their first, but no way am I their favorite. If I have to keep up the homeschooling thing for too long, we’ll all end up in therapy.

And $40 a day won’t cover that.

The Teachers Strike: Day 75

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This is the 75th straight day of no school. Even if by some miracle the new year starts on schedule next week, the kids will have been out of class for 80 straight days. You know how many things can be forgotten in 80 days? I can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning. We’ve been playing Yahtzee to practise math, and using our interactive globe to practise geography, and reading lots of books to practise literacy…but I’m so done. These guys need to get back to school. Or at the very least, they need to get AWAY FROM ME.

I’m not the only one who’s had enough of the extended break. Justin’s been talking about wanting to go back for a couple weeks now. Brayden’s looking forward to seeing all his friends again. Heaven knows, if this strike drags on much longer, we won’t be friends with each other anymore.

Phileas Fogg went around the world in 80 days; I’m about to go round the bend. Here’s hoping they settle this thing soon.

The Independence Project

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In the spirit of “don’t do for your kids what they can do for themselves,” I decided to let the boys use the men’s change room at the pool all by themselves. They have swimming lessons every day for the next two weeks, so it seemed like a good opportunity to practise keeping track of their stuff. And boy, do they need practice. Here’s a rundown on how the post-swimming change went:

10:33 – Both boys enter the change room.

10:45 – Justin comes out wearing his brother’s shorts. Backwards. He is also barefoot. I am hopeful when I see he has his bag, though I quickly discover it contains nothing but his goggles. I point all this out to him. He rolls his eyes, says “dang it” disgustedly, and disappears back into the change room.

10:50 – Justin comes out wearing his own clothes and sandals but carrying Brayden’s shorts, making me wonder what exactly Brayden currently has on. Justin hands me his towel, but his swim shorts are still missing. Back to the change room.

10:53 – A man coming out of the change room notices me calling to the boys from the hallway. He smiles, shakes his head, and says, “A lot of talking going on in there.” At least they aren’t doing Pokemon battles with their towels. Yet.

10:55 – Justin comes out with everything he’s supposed to have. Still no sign of Brayden. I send Justin back in to tell his brother to get moving.

10:58 – Both boys appear with all the items they started with. Brayden reports that he had six showers to warm up since I wouldn’t let him use the hot tub after the lesson. We agree that he can use the hot tub tomorrow if he will take less time in the change room.

Hallelujah.

The Never-Ending Summer

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This will go down in history as the longest summer EVER. The kids haven’t had school since June 13, the teachers strike is now threatening to delay the start of the new school year, and my contract at work ended August 1, so I’m home with my little darlings 24-7. On our latest trip to the library I found a book called “You Can’t Drink All Day if You Don’t Start in the Morning” — am I the only mom who finds that inspirational?

Actually, the kids haven’t been that bad. I’m just having trouble adjusting to life without either educational courses or paid employment. I don’t know what to do when I don’t have deadlines. We’ve been to the beach, and the waterslides, and the mini golf course; we’ve had BBQs and play dates; I’ve even gotten out golfing a few times. But none of that stretches me intellectually. I need to work on developing some new skills…which I plan to do if the kids ever go back to school. Sigh.

Speaking of new skills…Brayden’s printing is finally improving, and he’s getting better at tying his shoes. He went to overnight camp for the first time this week and seemed to love it, although he was so filthy when I picked him up that at first Justin thought he’d had his face painted (eww). He lost a tooth a couple nights ago and was super excited that it bled enough for him to gross out his brother. That one is all boy.

Justin hasn’t had any therapy all summer but seems to be doing great, which makes me wonder (not for the first time) if he really needs the extra help. He didn’t seem bothered when he lost a couple games of Battleship the other day, and he was genuinely excited for me when I got a hole in one in mini golf even though he didn’t. Handling defeat has never been his forte, so this was a big deal. Very cool.

Foosball at camp
On the ropes
Going canoeing
Food with friends
At mini golf
First time campers

Bribery: The Classic Parental Technique

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Never underestimate what a seven-year-old will do for a cookie.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to get Brayden to practise his printing. We normally read just before bedtime, which he’s really good at, so for a while I was substituting printing for reading. But he doesn’t enjoy printing, and he’s tired by then, and it just wasn’t a good situation.

I needed to have him do his printing just after supper, but that’s when he usually watches TV, so I figured it would be a tough sell. I offered to let him watch TV before bed as a reward, but he wasn’t interested. Instead, he gave me a puppy-dog look and asked if he could have a treat as a reward. Sold.

I picked out a page in one of his books that I wanted him to copy. He worked diligently at it for 30 full minutes…and earned one Oreo. I would’ve insisted on at least three cookies for that kind of effort, but he seemed pretty satisfied with the one (not least because it was a secret from his brother). I wonder how long that will last.

Justin is notoriously difficult to bribe, so it’s nice to know that a cookie makes Brayden’s world go round. Time to buy stock in Nabisco…

Begging for a Breather

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Could the world just stop for a minute and let me get off?

This morning I did 30 minutes on the treadmill, got dressed, packed four lunches, did two loads of laundry, had breakfast, washed the kitchen floor and hustled the kids off to school.

Then I went to work. I have six different manuals on the go, all of which have to get done by the end of next week, and all of which are stalled as I chase down information from co-workers who are swamped with their own projects.

After work, I go straight to the school to pick up the kids and take them home, where I will do two more loads of laundry, cut the grass, clean the bathrooms and make supper.

And this isn’t even a busy day. Many times we have soccer practice or some other appointment that we have to rush off to. I sat down the other day to plan out our meals for next week, and I realized that almost every day is a rush job. When will I ever have time to cook a substantial meal? Most days I have maybe half an hour to throw something together.

And I only work part time!

As a society, we tend to define ourselves by how busy we are. Parents are always one-upping each other with their tales of jam-packed schedules. But is the nuttiness really worth it?

I realize this is why people take vacations. But two weeks a year is not enough to regain a sense of sanity. No one ever lies on their deathbed wishing they’d spent more time rushing around.

My job ends in nine weeks. Hallelujah.

A “No Yelling” Update: Back to Square One

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I think we need a whole-family version of that no-yelling-for-a-week challenge I did last spring. It’s been a really loud couple of weeks around here. Someone whines, someone else screams, and then a third person yells to be heard over the din…oy.

Despite all that, we actually had one incident when yelling really got the job done. Last week when I was picking up the kids after school, Brayden found me before Justin did, and I told Brayden not to run off because we had to get to an appointment as soon as Justin came out. Brayden got huffy about not being allowed to play — and promptly took off for the opposite end of the school field.

By the time Justin came out, Brayden was hundreds of yards away and not paying me the slightest attention. I was so steamed — we were meeting someone at 2:45, and this was 2:40 — that I very nearly left without him. Instead, I tracked him down and unleashed a tirade like I haven’t done in months. He cried, and apologized, and now he comes as soon as I call him. Lesson learned…but does the end justify the means?

How bad of a mother am I?

My (Two-Week) Resolutions

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Everybody makes (and breaks) New Year’s resolutions, right? Who can keep them up for that long? So this year, to maximize my chances for success, I’m making Christmas holiday resolutions.

For the next two weeks, I will:

1. Interact more with my husband and less with my iPad. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in our own personal devices that we barely even speak to each other. We need to play some games, have some laughs, and leave the electronics alone.

2. Play with my kids on their terms. That might mean having snowball fights, doing Pokemon battles, building Lego creations, or playing indoor football. I will not be so busy that I can’t find time to play.

3. Clean my house less often. This should help with #2, though this will probably be the first resolution I break.

4. Take lots and lots of pictures. I’ve taken maybe four photos in the last three months. I wish I could say it’s because we were too busy having great experiences, but really, we were just too busy.

5. Not criticize my family’s fashion choices. None of the males in my house have any sense of what goes with what, but I will not intervene, other than to point out when their clothes are on backwards. Which happens more than you’d think.

6. Not worry about the nutritional content of every meal. I won’t even comment when Chris goes for a third bowl of chips. We’ll see how long that lasts.

7. Not be in a rush all the time. It’s not easy for us Type A personalities to go with the flow, but I’ll do my best.

Most of all, I will cherish this time with family and friends, and not take all this love for granted.

Merry Christmas everybody!