Flagged Down: A Story of Canadian Pride

Note: I was going through some old stuff and found this story I wrote back in 1998. It still seems relevant, so I thought I’d share it here.

When I was preparing for a trip to Europe recently, I bought a package of fabric flags. I sewed a big maple leaf on my backpack, another on my jacket, and a small one on my cap (I chose my Montreal Canadiens cap because it was the only one I had that didn’t have an American star emblazoned on it). I even bought small maple leaf stickers and attached them to my luggage.

None of my friends or family questioned why I did this. They all took it for granted that I would want a Canadian flag on everything I owned. It wasn’t until I arrived in England and met my tour group that I began to wonder if I was strange.

No other country seemed to find it necessary to advertise. On my tour, there were people from Australia, New Zealand, Japan and South Africa, and you couldn’t find a flag anywhere on them. The three Canadians, on the other hand, had their nationality stamped on everything from fanny packs to makeup kits. In a crowd of tourists, the Canucks were easily identifiable, because they were the only ones wearing any flag at all.

It got to be a big joke among the people on our tour. A girl from Hamilton said we all wore the maple leaf because the airport authorities wouldn’t let us leave the country without one — and only the Canadians realized she was kidding.

One day when I was wearing my cap, my jacket and my backpack (all three flags at once), a guy from South Africa said he couldn’t stand it anymore. He asked me why all Canadians do this. I told him the answer was simple: we didn’t want to be seen as American.

I always thought Canadian culture suffered from a lack of definition. I don’t know anyone who could name a uniquely Canadian food, or type of music, or manner of dress. We watch American television, go to American movies, and listen to American music. There’s an old joke that says inside every Canadian is an American, and to be honest, most of us could pass for a Yankee if we wanted to. I used to believe that being Canadian consisted entirely of trying to prove we weren’t from the States.

But maybe there’s more to it than that. Maybe we just use anti-Americanism as a shield. Every fourth of July, I join the millions of Canadians who criticize the zealous flag-waving of our southern neighbors. We call them arrogant and self-centered, and we congratulate ourselves on our more laid-back national character. At least, we say, we aren’t like them.

But maybe deep down, we all wish we were.

It’s not that Canadians don’t have national pride. But try getting us to admit it. Unless it involves hockey, most of us don’t get too worked up about our country. A survey last year revealed that only 63 per cent of Canadians polled could recite the first two lines of the national anthem. Thirty-five per cent couldn’t name the three oceans that border the country. It’s almost as if we’re too bored with our own country to bother learning anything about it.

At the end of my European tour, we each passed around an autograph sheet for everyone to sign as a souvenir of our travels together. I expected to get at least one comment about the flags thing, and I did: a girl from New Zealand wrote on my sheet, “It was lovely to meet a proud Canadian.”

There is a lesson in this.

An Enchanted Outing

Well, at least the kids can’t say we never take them anywhere. Yesterday morning we decided to drive up to Salmon Arm to check out a mini golf course that was supposed to be interesting; the place also had go-karts, so we thought we might try those too. Salmon Arm is an hour and a half from here, so we figured we’d be home by early afternoon. (Still, I was wise enough to pack the boys’ backpacks with a change of clothes, their iPods and some snacks…cause hey, you never know.)

You can probably guess where this is leading.

We did the mini golf, which had some neat decor — everything from Stonehenge to miniature pyramids. Justin looked at the model of Mount Rushmore and remarked, “Hey, that looks like Abraham Lincoln.” Then he took another look and added, “And that one is Thomas Jefferson.” A couple seconds later he told us it was in South Dakota. I was standing there with my mouth open, stunned, cause I have actually been to Mount Rushmore and still couldn’t tell you which faces are on the thing. We’re guessing Justin read about it in his current favorite book, Over 1000 Fascinating Facts. That kid needs to get back to school.

After mini golf we had to wait around almost half an hour (which, with a hyperactive four-year-old, felt more like half a lifetime) for our turn on the go-karts. The ones we did in Penticton were well set up for families, and we all remembered them as being a lot of fun, but these were slightly different. Brayden had to sit in my lap rather than in a seat beside me, so I could barely see where I was going, plus I got some sunscreen in my eye just as we started driving, so my eyes kept watering and I had no way to wipe them. Oh, well. I’m pretty sure the boys enjoyed it, so that’s all that really matters.

On the drive up we’d noticed some billboards advertising the Enchanted Forest, a tourist attraction between Sicamous and Revelstoke that we’ve driven by several times but never stopped at. It was still early in the day, and it was only an hour from Salmon Arm, so we decided to go for it. We were planning to stop for lunch in Sicamous, but we didn’t really see anywhere to eat there besides an A&W (not our favorite place), so we opted to keep going. We ended up going all the way to Revelstoke, which added an unnecessary 65 km or so — it’s a good thing our kids like to travel. They never whined about being stuck in the van or complained that it was an hour past their lunchtime, so kudos to them.

And it was all worth it when we got into the Enchanted Forest. The place is full of fairy tale creatures and their almost-life-size houses, most of which the kids could go into and explore. We started in a huge castle that had a wizard, a pillory, the magic mirror from Snow White (which our kids only know from Shrek, sadly) and even a dungeon. Next up were each of the Three Little Pigs’ houses with the Big Bad Wolf standing by. The giant shoe house (from The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe) even included a slide. There was an enormous treehouse, a pirate ship with Captain Hook (it also had a donkey on deck, which had Brayden asking where Shrek was), Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother’s house, Winnie the Pooh’s abode…the list goes on. It was very cool for all of us.

Next door to the Enchanted Forest is SkyTrek Adventure Park, which had one feature that looked amazing: a kids’ jungle gym, basically an elaborate obstacle course. (Just as an aside…why are the coolest outdoor adventure things in this province always owned and operated by Australians?) The kids found it pretty challenging at first but then really seemed to get into it — Justin even did the zip line at the end without the slightest hesitation. Brayden struggled with that a bit but did eventually figure it out. The whole thing was great for Justin’s motor skills and a lot of fun for both kids. Awesome.

I think that’s enough of the road trips for a while…

 

 

A 10-Hour Road Trip and Other Strange Behavior

Mamma Mia wasn’t the wondrous experience I was hoping for, but it was all right. We actually missed the first 20 minutes due to traffic woes, which was unfortunate (I could never live in Vancouver!) but at least we got to see most of it. Plus of course it was a full day without the kids, so that counts for something. But 10 hours of driving for a two-hour show…insane.

Sanity has been restored around here, however, since the kids are in summer camp this week and next. I’m enjoying having the chance to shop and run some errands that I’ve been putting off. I finally sold the rocking chair in Brayden’s room (a holdover from the baby days) and bought some shelving for him, so we finally have somewhere besides the floor to put his books and stuffed animals. I also bought bookshelves for Justin and ordered him an actual student desk so he doesn’t have to squeeze into the plastic picnic table he’s had in his room since he was two. That table is now in Brayden’s room, so everybody is upgrading. It looks awesome — like they’re so grown up!

Brayden's new room setupJustin has been difficult lately but his behavior consultant gave me some tips that should help, so we’ll see. The consultant is actually doing one-on-one sessions with Justin as well as sibling sessions with both boys, so I feel like we’re finally tackling some long-standing problems. What has emerged so far is that Justin’s biggest challenge is being flexible with his brother (and being a good sport when he loses a game); Brayden’s biggest challenge is staying on task. No surprises there. There are only two more sessions, so I might be hoping for a miracle here, but we’ll see what kind of progress we make.

Two weeks (and counting) until grade one begins…

Long, Lazy Days

In a classic case of poor planning, the kids have no summer camp on the one week when their grandparents are also out of town, so we’re overdosing on togetherness right now. Actually, I can’t really complain. My parents showed up unexpectedly Thursday night and stayed until Sunday, so there were extra people around to entertain the kids. I even got out golfing Saturday morning, so that was cool, plus we had a play date with some friends on Sunday. So today is really the first day that it’s been just me and the monkeys, but it seemed like a long day. (It didn’t help that Justin’s behavior consultant was supposed to do a session with him and Brayden but had to cancel…so far Justin’s social skills group has met exactly three times this whole summer. Argh.)

The light at the end of the tunnel is a trip to Vancouver on Saturday. Chris and I have tickets to the Mamma Mia stage show, but we didn’t feel we could leave the kids overnight (long story), so we’re driving down Saturday morning, watching the show at 2:00, and driving back home right after. That will probably work out to be about 10 hours on the road that day, but oh, well. I’m super excited about the show cause I loved the movie and the music, so I hope all the driving will be worth it. Wait and see, I guess…

Into the Wild

 

The first time we took the kids to the B.C. Wildlife Park in Kamloops, Justin was only two and Brayden was still a newborn, so we figured they’d get a lot more out of the experience if we tried it now. Dave met us for lunch and then we all went to the park together. None of the animals looked too happy, but maybe that was because they were covered in fur and it was 33 degrees outside. We saw bears, moose, porcupines, raccoons, bison, a bald eagle and a bunch of different owls.

The highlight for the kids was the little zoo train we rode that took us all around the park — the conductor even took the time to explain to Justin how the engine worked, and he let all the kids sound the whistle. The boys also enjoyed the zoo-themed playground and splash park.

 

When that was all over, we stopped in at Dave’s place to see Tanya and then we all went out for dinner, which was great right up until Brayden threw up all over his seat. (Long day, too much sun, plus we forced him to eat more than he wanted to…but he’s fine now.) Still, I call it a successful trip.

How I Got My New Toy

It’s all in the timing. I’ve been trying to convince Chris that I need a netbook, a mini laptop that would give me a portable way to blog. He was more for an iPad cause it’s cool new technology. I needed his agreement on this because he had a Costco gift card (a bonus from work) that had enough on it for me to get a netbook basically for free, but of course he had to be willing to donate it to me. By pure coincidence, he discovered a new game on his iPod a few days ago that had him totally hooked — I think he spent three straight hours sitting there, and he only gave it up cause he got hand cramps. So while he was there in his happy place, I pointed out that the iPad is really just an overgrown iPod, only heavier and less convenient to hold. The next thing I knew, he was handing over the gift card. So now I have my netbook, and I can blog, check email, surf the Net, download and upload photos, make video calls, etc., from anywhere that has wi-fi. AWESOME.

Journey to the World of Make Believe

A few of the defining features of Asperger’s are mind-blindness (the inability to predict or understand someone else’s thoughts and feelings), rigidity of thought and an extremely literal interpretation of language, so pretend play has generally been almost impossible for Justin. When he first started his autism program, his behavior consultant held up a blue pen and asked him to imagine that it was something else: a stick, or a wand, or whatever. No go. Then she asked him to just pretend that it was a red pen. He got more and more agitated and insisted that it was a blue pen, it was clearly a blue pen, and it could never be anything else. Sigh.

So you can imagine how amazing it is to see Justin doing all kinds of pretending with Brayden these days. When we go to the playground, they each pretend to be cars racing in the World Grand Prix from Cars 2. They use the sand from the sandbox to build new roads for their cars, and then they race around on them. One of their favorite games is when we all pretend to be different dinosaurs, and we stomp around the living room roaring at each other. This kind of stuff is par for the course with most kids, but it’s a major step forward for a kid who couldn’t conceive a different color for the pen.

This week he astounded us by gathering all his stuffed animals, arranging them in a row in the living room, and announcing that they were his “audience” and he was going to perform a concert for us. But first everyone needed a “ticket”, so he handed out felt markers to us and the rest of the spectators. We turned on some music and watched as he (and his brother, who can’t tolerate being left out of anything) danced around the room. I couldn’t stop smiling. Awesome.

 

Moving With the Times

I’ve been thinking about how great it was to be able to blog each day on our last cruise using the ship’s computers, and how I would really like to take it to the next level and add photos on the go as well. Given how much the kids missed me when I was in Vancouver for two days, I think I’d also like to be able to chat with them via Skype when Chris and I go off on our cruise next year (we’ll be gone 18 days — yikes!) So I started looking into netbooks, which are designed for exactly that purpose — they’re mini laptops that let you type, surf the Net, make video calls, etc. They’re cheap, too, so I thought I’d found a great solution.

But when I mentioned this to my techie husband, he insisted that netbooks are on the way out and what we really need is an iPad. Huh. The iPad is very cool, but it and all the accessories (a separate camera connector to download photos, and a separate keyboard cause the on-screen one would drive me nuts for long blog entries, and some kind of holder to make the thing stand up while I type instead of lying flat) would cost at least twice as much as a netbook. Plus we already have an iPod Touch that has much, though not all, of the same functionality as the iPad. I dunno.

All of this is sort of moot right now anyway, since I just found out I need thousands of dollars worth of dental surgery (ugh). We’ll see how things work out.

For the Love of Words

Chalk one up for positive thinking. I was getting slightly stressed at the thought of coming to Vancouver for this editing workshop (the idea of working in a big city often makes me feel overwhelmed and inadequate, like the small fish in a big pond who’s about to get eaten by a shark), but I’ve been focusing on the joy-of-learning aspect rather than the parlaying-this-into-a-career aspect, and so far so good. It helps that there are no assignments this time around (she talks, we listen) and thus no pressure to prove anything.

The weather is surprisingly beautiful, the instructor really seems to know her stuff and the class is small enough that it’s easy to ask questions and frame the discussion around things we really want to know. Plus it’s amazing to be in a room with people who love and appreciate words as much as I do. In short, I’m loving it. It’s a shame it only lasts for two days. At the end of tomorrow’s class there’s supposed to be a talk about career options and other courses and such, so hopefully I’ll get some ideas about where to go from here.

This whole experience rocks!

A Family Wedding Weekend

After our road trip to Prince George, I have a whole new appreciation for two things: 1) how big this province actually is (it took us 10 hours to get home yesterday) and 2) how great an Okanagan summer really is. It was only about 18 degrees up north the whole time we were there, and we almost never saw the sun. Blech.

But we obviously weren’t there for the weather. We were there for Dave and Tanya’s wedding, and that went great. A few gems from the weekend:

– While they were getting ready to leave for the ceremony, Tanya looked at her dad and noticed something was weird about his tie: it was on backwards. Someone yelled, “Get the man a clip-on!” But it was a clip-on.

– Brayden, usually such a bulldozer, took it upon himself to take care of his one-year-old cousin Serenity while we waited for the bride to arrive. Serenity would toddle a few steps away, and Brayden would go over, take her hand and gently lead her back to her mother. It was sooo cute.

– Justin did so great walking down the aisle that I gave him a thumbs up when he took his place. He then proceeded to give thumbs up to everyone in the audience — repeatedly.

– Brayden was mighty miffed that he wasn’t actually part of the wedding party, and when the photographer made a big deal about Justin being a ringbearer, Brayden just about threw another fit. The photographer quickly defused things by offering to take some truly adorable pictures of Justin and Brayden together. Crisis averted.

 

– I knew Dave had to be deeply in love when he and the rest of the wedding party danced into the reception. Dave normally only dances when he’s drunk. (Come to think of it, there was champagne at the photo session…)

– We left before this, but apparently Rob started a conga line, moved his hips in unnatural ways and somehow hit our 92-year-old grandmother in the back of the head with a package of baby wipes. Classic Rob.

– At the end of the night, while waiting for the shuttle bus, a rousing game of bum darts got underway in the parking lot. This is a popular sport among the bride’s family, one that even has some strictly enforced rules (such as “no preparation H”). Don’t ask.

The rest of the weekend was filled with visiting all sorts of family. The boys loved seeing their Uncle Greg, of course — he and Chris took the boys to a science museum a couple times. (Justin was using a space shuttle simulator and managed to crash the shuttle into the space station…he then read what was on the screen and bemoaned, “Oh, I caused billions of dollars worth of damage.”) We also had the kids at the rehearsal dinner, at the actual wedding (Greg was kind enough to pick them up just after the supper so we could relax and party a bit), at a post-wedding open house, at various people’s houses…and they handled it all like pros. After several nights of staying up way too late and getting up way too early, I was relieved that both kids crashed hard at 7 p.m. the last night we were there. Whew.